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Saturday, June 1, 2013

Gift Shop Artist Highlight: Steve Zihlavsky

Ooatnm Eggs


The Ooatnm is non-existent. Its egg however is a cyclo-emberthasm, which places it in a non-classified unilife-form category. Ooatnm eggs, unlike most cyclo-emberthasm, do not like xiphtoham. Due to their dislike, as well as the decline in cathode ray tube, we do not typically offer xiphtoham at our establishment. Rather, they prefer a pseudo-symbolic relationship with any polyhedron. Ooatnm eggs neither hatch nor develop.

Such a process would constitute them becoming non-existent. Ooatnm eggs that desire experience outside of their shell, develop organs and other extremities such as eyes and snouts. Others never even “peek” out in order to avoid non-existence. Only a few people know where these special eggs emerge.
That aside, like snowflakes and fingerprints, each is unique. There are many classifications such as albino, amorphous, clabbered, lobed, magnetus, perforated, polar, spheric, spotted, and warted to name a few. Most fall into a combination of two or more classes. When purchasing Ooatnm eggs, ask your procurer of the type(s) and for documentation. Often collectors will be able to assist you in naming your egg as well.
Due to the lack of maintenance, aside from occasional dusting, Ooatnm eggs make a great for all including children, eccentrics, and idiosyncratic, peculiars, pet lovers, and of course those who either have “everything” or “don’t need anything”.

Listed below is terminology for better understanding of an Ooatnm egg.
Cyclo-emberthasm- nearly self-susttaining imagine-organism: capable of “great feats (reader use discretion) which occasionally needs a feeding, the usual food being a xiphtoham.
Imagine-organism- any imaginary life-form. Includes pet rocks, imaginary friends and the like.

Xiphtoham- a ham made from the wavelengths emitted from a cathode ray tube.

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